Hagrid’s Cabin

There was only one room inside. Hams and pheasants were hanging from the ceiling, a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire, and in the corner stood a massive bed with a patchwork quilt over it.

The little wooden cabin at the edge of the Forbidden Forest where Hagrid lives with his faithful dog Fang. Occasional other beastly inhabitants include Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback and Buckbeak the fugitive hippogriff.

Aunt Marge & Ripper

“Did you really blow up your aunt, Harry?”

“Aunt” Marge is Uncle Vernon’s sister. She breeds evil-tempered, smelly bulldogs, harbours a secret flame for her neighbour Colonel Fubster and is a firm fan of corporal punishment. Marge works hard to make Harry’s life a misery… which will prove to be a big mistake on her part.

Big D

“Cool name, but you’ll always be Ickle Diddykins to me.”

With some hard dieting and a talent for punching people, Dudders has grown up to become the junior heavyweight inter-school boxing champ of the South East, and the terror of Little Whinging.

The Dursleys

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”

Harry’s Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and their baby angel, Dudley. The Dursleys are the biggest bunch of muggles you’ll ever lay eyes on, and want nothing more than to live in bland suburban normality at Number 4, Privet Drive. Unfortunately for them, their good-for-nothing nephew keeps crashing flying cars, inflating aunts and bringing in house elves. What will the neighbours think?

The Next Generation of Malfoys

“So that’s little Scorpius.”

Draco, Astoria and their little pride and joy, Scorpius Hyperion. The bloodline has continued with Draco marrying into another of the “Sacred Twenty-Eight” pureblood families.

Dolores Umbridge

“What Cornelius doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Dolores Jane Umbridge is a power-hungry Ministry of Magic official. Deeply prejudiced, controlling and sadistic, Umbridge is a nightmare in pink, bows frills and flounces. Her hobbies include collecting the ‘Frolicsome Feline’ ornamental plate range and inventing instruments of torture.

Professor Slughorn

“To friendship! To generosity! To ten Galleons a hair!”

Professor H. E. F. Slughorn enjoys his “creature comforts”, from velvet smoking jackets to crystallised pineapple. He was (reluctantly) winkled out of retirement to resume his post as Potions Master at Hogwarts. “Old Sluggy” is a very influential teacher – he cherry-picks particularly bright or talented students for his Slug Club at Hogwarts, and is always happy to give a leg-up to his favourites.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all…

To celebrate Lockhart’s favourite holiday, I’ll be posting new Harry Potter couples all month. The only question is who would you like?

Rare few Ravenclaws

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit & learning
Will always find their kind.

Padma Patil.

Handful of Hufflepuffs

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just & loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil.

Ernie Macmillan, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchley.

Slytherin Squad

Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.

Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bulstrode.

Gryffindor Gang

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve & chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart.

Neville Longbottom, Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan.