Dolores Umbridge

“What Cornelius doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Dolores Jane Umbridge is a power-hungry Ministry of Magic official. Deeply prejudiced, controlling and sadistic, Umbridge is a nightmare in pink, bows frills and flounces. Her hobbies include collecting the ‘Frolicsome Feline’ ornamental plate range and inventing instruments of torture.

Gilderoy Lockhart

“I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!”

Fame-hungry, vain and utterly inept Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Lockhart achieved his fame through a combination of relentless self-promotion and stealing credit for the deeds of other (less photogenic) wizards by obliterating their memories. His days of (allegedly) travelling with trolls, holidaying with hags and gadding with ghouls come to an end when Lockhart accidentally wipes his own memories, and he ends up a long-term resident of St Mungo’s Hospital. But he can do joined-up writing now, you know!